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After her daughter — her only child — passed away, Amelia Cates needed emotional support.
She wanted reassurance that she wasn’t alone in her pain; to make sense of what happened; to know that others had faced similar situations and were able to rebound.
She found what she was looking for in a support group named The Compassionate Friends of Iredell County. But it took some courage. It was after two failed attempts — sitting in her car in the parking lot, crying — that she gained the wherewithal to finally introduce herself to the group. It was then that she realized she wasn’t alone.
“Walking through those doors makes it official that you lost your child and you do belong,” she said.
Her daughter, Christian, passed away March 12, 2008, at the age of 37 from sudden cardiac arrest while living in Monroe.
“You don’t think it’ll happen to you until it does,” she said.
The first year after her daughter’s death is a blur, she said. Your life goes on autopilot.
Becoming part of the group reminded her that she wasn’t the only one carrying such emotional weight.
“I felt like I was the only one who had those feelings and nobody else could possibly comprehend,” the Statesville resident said.
Since her first meeting in 2008, she has remained a loyal member of the Compassionate Friends. Cates said it’s nice to come in contact with others and “find out you’re not as crazy as you thought you were.” The group’s support mission lives up to its motto: “You are not alone.”
She now serves as chapter leader and said “it’s a great honor for me to do that, anything I do is to honor my daughter.”
Compassionate Friends meets from 7-9 p.m. on the first Thursday of every month at Gordon Hospice House, 2347 Simonton Road, Statesville. It provides support to anybody who is grieving the death of a loved one.
Bereavement, she said, is “like you’re walking in a dream. We try to reach out to those people and help them through it.”
Between meetings, Cates said, members keep in contact through e-mail and phone calls. They laugh and cry together.
“Never take children for granted because they may not always be there,” she said.
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