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'Ewwww, gross! Dad just kissed mom'
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Published: September 24, 2009
I have a confession to make. Now, this is something I've not shared with anyone outside of family, but I believe it's time to admit publicly to a certain habit my wife and I have. Through this confession, hopefully we'll achieve the catharsis that will provide us the strength to erase our behavioral blemish.
Actually, it probably won't, because it provides us with such a simple pleasure, and one we enjoy on many levels. We — this is hard, so bear with me — enjoy tormenting our kids. By kissing in public.
I know, I know. Shocking, isn't it? I should really talk to someone about this.
It isn't just hugging and kissing our children in public that causes them anguish, but hugging and kissing each other. We didn't intend for spousal affection to distress our children so much, but the unintended consequence of their rolled eyes and shouts of "ewwww, gross!" is one to which we've become more and more addicted.
Once we discovered how much it aggravated our children, we've been unable to stop. I confess we haven't tried that hard. We're like the smoker who says as he runs down to the Quickie Mart for another pack, "Don't worry! I'll quit tomorrow."
You'd think a simple peck on the lips between husband and wife wouldn't generate the visceral synthesis of laughter, protest and feigned retching as it does at our house, but you would be mistaken.
We knew going in to the child-rearing process that we'd quickly enter the stage of cootie shots and general pre-adolescent revulsion at public displays of affection from other people, but it never occurred to us that our willingness to chastely display our love for each other would be gross. Clearly we thought wrong. Simple pecks elicit groans and some laughter; welcome-home hugs and kisses send our children fleeing from our presence like gazelles from a cheetah.
My wife and I haven't made much of an effort to stop this, in part because we believe the emotional pain is good for them. Pain is just weakness leaving the body, some say, so we're trying to look at this as our children's weakness for affection leaving their bodies, to be replaced by an appreciation and desire not only to show affection for each other, but compassion for others. This seems to be working well, particularly with our youngest, who is predisposed to be generous with her hugs.
Confession aside, I think my wife and I will maintain our addiction to affection. Too many times, people miss chances to express their love to those whom they assume already know about it. And given that any moment could be our last, that's a shame.
Our children make fun of it now, but we will continue to confirm for them that this is how families should behave. Modest public expressions of love, especially spontaneous ones, reinforce the bonds that make us a strong family.
And that is never gross.
Joe Melton is a stay-at-home father living in the Lake Norman area.
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