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Self-important attitude has high price
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Published: October 18, 2009
Taking oneself too seriously can derail any relationship. Queen Victoria of England learned this lesson very quickly in her marriage to Prince Albert.
It was an extremely happy union, but as happens to the best of us, they quarreled one day early in their marriage and Albert walked out of the room and went to his private quarters.
Victoria followed, found the door locked, and began pounding on it.
"Who's there?" Prince Albert asked. "The Queen of England" came the reply.
But the door remained locked. More pounding followed, but then there was a pause. The next sound was that of a gentle tap.
"Who's there?" Albert inquired.
The queen replied, "Your wife, Albert." Prince Albert opened the door immediately.
We all have different roles in our lives, but when we deal with others, the most important is "fellow human."
There is an epidemic of entitlement and self-importance across our land, and like the queen, many feel elevated and better than others because of their jobs, their money, their position or their looks.
We miss out on meeting some of the most interesting and genuine individuals on the planet when we stereotype, look down upon or pigeon-hole others because they aren't like us.
Each of us brings a dish (our unique selves) to this banquet called life. When we refuse to partake of another's "dish" because it is odd, unusual or different, we lose out on a richness that was at our fingertips.
Some of the most fascinating individuals I have known were the oddest or quirkiest. Dare to expose yourself to other lifestyles, cultures and ways of thought.
Treasures come to you daily in the form of others. If you have a sense of self-importance, of being better than them, you sadly miss out on the gifts they bring.
My biggest bone of contention with self-important people is when they feel too good to help others. Truly great people are known for being humble.
Author Charles Francis tells the story of Dr. Charles Mayo, founder of the world-famous Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
One night, a guest from England was staying in his home, and when the man as ready to retire for the evening, he put his shoes outside his bedroom door, in expectation that the servant would shine them overnight.
The great Dr. Mayo saw the shoes, and before he went to bed he shined them himself.
So what happens now?
First, promise to inventory yourself and purge any self-importance. Remember that there's a huge difference between knowing you have value and feeling self-important.
Secondly, consciously practice humility, and thirdly, add daily acts of kindness to this triple play.
Let's end with a word on kindness, a trait sadly in short supply these days.
Vow to begin today to be kind to all you meet. In her book, "The Second Neurotics Notebook," Mignon McLaughlin advised, "Don't be yourself — be someone a little nicer."
You can't make people be kind to you, but you can show them how it's done.
And please, never lose sight that we are all fellow travelers on the difficult road of life.
Author H. Jackson Brown Jr. said this so well: "Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something."
Don't wait. Start today!
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