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Let books weave their own kind of magic for kids
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Published: October 8, 2009
Once. Upon. A time.
I love those words! They make me think of such happy memories that I'm obliged to stop working, close my eyes and just savor the moment.
Come on, you remember, don't you? Snuggled under the reassuring weight of your cool bedcovers while mom or dad read to you another bizarre tale from the Brothers Grimm? Or maybe you were perched in a backyard tree house reading Tom Swift's latest adventure as some guy named Jack kept prattling on about these really cool beans?
Although I've not yet been able to lure my children up the beanstalk of the classic fairy tales the way I'd hoped, the fact that they stretch their imaginations with any good story is enough for me. I'm a partisan in the struggle against unnecessary actuality, and I'm not particular about how my children choose to support the war effort. Artemis Fowl or Aesop's fables? Doesn't matter. I'm just happy to see my children enjoying even the modern incarnations of the tales I read as a child.
But the real world demands attention too, and there's a fine line to tread in maintaining a healthy balance between them.
My oldest daughter is a Harry Potter devotee. Almost everywhere she goes, Potter goes with her.
Several months ago I ambled into her room one night to tuck her in. She was reading Potter, and in a desire to share with me her enjoyment, she said "Wouldn't it be great, Dad, if I could cast a spell to clean up my room?"
In a moment I'm still ashamed of, instead of sitting down and sharing the moment of childhood fantasy, I simply said "Sure, but you know that's all made up, right? You know there's no such thing as magic." As soon as my words were loosed, looks of disillusionment and disappointment chased each other across her face. Even now I can see them, as she realized I was more interested in hammering in the nails of reality than in sharing with her a moment of whimsy.
A ham-fisted failure on my part, and one that hasn't happened again.
Fear not, left-brainers. I won't tell her that magic beans really do exist, but rather let her discover that for herself, with only the gentlest of guidance from me. And I'd never discourage her from pretending that it would be wonderful if they did exist. Yes, children eventually must distinguish fantasy from reality, and not believe everything they read — fiction or fact. We don't want to raise children without critical thinking ability. That's how we get second shooters on grassy knolls.
Clearly some children need a firmer guiding hand than others. I know of a family whose middle schooler, for instance, still believes in Santa Claus. But most children need only an occasional nudge to maintain the balance between robust imagination and keen intellect. They certainly don't need adults cruelly shattering their Faerie lamps with the cold iron mace of reality.
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