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Getting divorced is always painful
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Published: October 8, 2009
Even in the best of circumstances, divorce is a messy thing.
You're pulling apart two lives — untangling daily routines, promises made, future plans.
Watching the very public saga of Jon and Kate — and the mess that has become their lives — has made me look back on my own past relationships.
I married my college sweetheart a semester before we graduated. We were pretty clueless about what it meant to be married and make a lifetime commitment. But we were in love and didn't want to break up, so it seemed like marriage was what should come next.
Of course, life has a way of teaching you many lessons, and it soon became clear that we were both well-intentioned, but totally not right for each other.
Still, letting go of the plans we'd made to share a life together was difficult and painful. I simply can't imagine how much worse it would be with children added to the mix, let alone under the glare of public scrutiny.
It seems like everyone has an opinion on Jon and Kate — who wronged who, what they should do now. But, having walked just a few steps in their shoes, I know that there is always more than one side to a story. No one but the two people involved really know the intricate threads that make up the history of a marriage.
Part of me will always mourn the loss of my first marriage, even as the rest celebrates the lasting love I have with my husband and the joy of the family we have built together.
But, years later, I am fortunate enough to be able to look back on the time I spent with my first husband fondly, and feel grateful for the lessons I learned, however painfully.
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