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Kids: Safety versus freedom
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Published: April 23, 2009
"Free-Range Kids." The idea calls to mind children running through wide-open fields, rolling down green-grass hills and skipping hand-in-hand.
But most of us don't live in a Laura Ingalls world. We live in cities with streets to cross and strangers walking past.
I think that's why so many people had a strong reaction to Lenore Skenazy's decision to let her 9-year-old son ride the New York subway home by himself.
I don't know many parents who want to keep their kids cooped up and constantly monitored. My husband and I crave time for our boys to run free and experience moments of independence.
As the mom of an 8-year-old boy, however I have a very difficult time imagining letting him ride his bike a few blocks away, let alone navigate the subway system in New York.
Still, the idea appeals to me on many levels. I have no doubt my son would rise to the challenge and find his way home — if he didn't meet with trouble along the way.
It's those "what ifs" that trip me up every time.
What if ... I let the boys play basketball outside while I cook dinner and a stranger tries to grab them?
What if ... I give in and let them stay home alone while I run a 5-minute errand and one of them gets hurt?
What if ... I tell Josh it's OK to go look at the toy cars in the next aisle at Wal-Mart, and I never see him again?
There are hundreds more of these questions, and as parents we grapple with them every day.
No, they are not likely to happen. But they could. Skenazy says we should relax, look at the odds of something bad happening and give our kids a longer rope.
Part of me knows she's right.
The rest of me thinks I should listen to those "what ifs," at least some of the time. There's a lot of wisdom to be found in a mother's worries.
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