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Dreaded flu leads to 'mommy guilt'
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Published: April 15, 2009
WebMD claims you get a headache and fever with the flu. I say you spike a fever of at least 114 degrees and get a headache so severe you know A-Rod must have taken batting practice on your noggin, even though you don't remember it. The list of other flu symptoms include severe body aches and generalized weakness. Actually, that doesn't do it justice. A better description would say that the aches make blinking hurt, and you experience fatigue to the point of naptime and bedtime overlapping.
The ailment finally caught me after a decade of dodging it. A few weekends ago, I found myself in bed from sun up to sun down, unable to accomplish anything but sleep and occasional channel surfing. The confused dog was my constant companion, offering glances in my direction as if to say "This is seriously all you're accomplishing today?" I won the cat's admiration, as she rested in bed beside me, wondering why it took me so long to realize that sleeping 20 of 24 hours a day was really the best way to live.
I had to throw in the mommy towel. Staying secluded in my self-made infirmary was a strange experience. I could hear my family getting breakfast, playing outside, eating lunch, heading outside again. At various points throughout the day, I stumbled downstairs for an ice chip refill, managing to mumble two words to my kids and their dad. What did I say? "I'm sorry" and "thank you."
Kids, I'm sorry I can't play with you, I'm sorry I can't read to you. Hubby, thank you for doing the things I do every day, like making dinner and straightening the house. Who did I feel sorry for the most? My family. What?!?
Are women, wives and mothers so programmed to put the needs of others before themselves that they feel like a failure when they don't succeed at this feat? I hadn't showered and could have cared less about the stench-and-drool-filled pillow my head had smothered for three days. But I felt bad my husband had to cook dinner, shoot basketball, play Barbies and watch "Madagascar." My husband thought my apologies indicated the fever had fried my brain. "Stop apologizing!" he insisted.
Do people in other lines of work apologize to their co-workers and subordinates when they take a sick day? Maybe, but the guilt likely lasts only a day. Mommy guilt
lives forever. Fortunately, the flu doesn't.
Kelli Robinson is a stay-at-home mother living in Mooresville.
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