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Children more different than a parent could dream
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Published: September 24, 2008
The other evening, I slipped into my daughters' rooms after they had gone to sleep. With nightlights the only illumination, I sat and beheld the beauty of my children. It was a blissful moment.
My wife and I both do this from time to time, particularly after a stressful day. Watching the loves of our lives sleep soothes and calms. Sitting and watching each of them in turn; listening to my oldest mumble in her sleep or watching my youngest, her covers kicked off, lying on her side with the palm of her hand cupping her chin like some recumbent Rodin sculpture.
I think about how beguilingly beautiful they look, and how all parents can be mesmerized by their children at these moments. My children are so beautiful, yet so different.
There are, of course, similarities. Both are happy by nature. Both love to read, enjoy horses and dogs, think snakes and bugs are cool and, as I have griped about before, love stuffed animals, particularly Webkinz, to a fault.
Yet the differences! My oldest daughter is one of the most gregarious and outgoing people I've ever known. She will walk up to other children she doesn't know, even if they are much older, and ask to join in whatever they are doing. If she ever takes a Myers-Briggs personality inventory, she'll be off the scale on extroversion. She has absolutely no fear of heights, and has been climbing trees, walls and rocks since she was old enough to stand. The biggest roller coasters at Carowinds are child's play for her. Even when she's reading, she prefers to be with us or her sister. She yearns for an audience and will never miss a chance to show off — usually in an agreeable way — for anyone nearby. But old episodes of "Emergency!" scare her.
Our youngest has a bit of a Wednesday Addams streak in her (though to our knowledge, she has never guillotined one of her dolls). She's a little secretive and likes reading about natural disasters. She plays with toy dinosaurs, and among her favorite stuffed animals are a stingray, a bat and an opossum. While she makes friends quickly and easily, she often prefers to read or play by herself, and can entertain herself for hours with no one else nearby. In fact, except for my wife, myself and her sister, she avoids audiences. She enjoys climbing trees, but is not thrilled about heights, and prefers a carousel to a roller coaster.
I haven't forgotten all of my high school biology and genetics classes. I'm aware of how different alleles impact the expression of particular traits, and of the variation from child to child.
There is a beauty in that all its own. I am awed at how God put all those chemicals together to make such unique beings. But no amount of detached, dispassionate language can do justice to sitting contentedly in a dimly lit room, watching my children dream.
Joe melton is the stay-at-home dad of two girls. He lives in the Lake Norman area. E-mail him at jmelt@live.com.
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