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Lack of conformity makes for magical night
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Published: November 19, 2008
My children, bless their hearts, can make me intensely angry sometimes. But they most often make me intensely happy, particularly when they do such unintentionally funny things. No wonder Art Linkletter's shows were so popular.
My oldest daughter attended a Halloween party several weeks ago at a retirement home. Claire has been on a Harry Potter kick for a while now, and decided she wanted to dress as Harry Potter for Halloween. Not Professor McGonagall, Ginny Weasley nor even Hermione. She had to be Harry.
We even suggested Harriet Potter, the long-lost younger sister, but only Harry himself would do. So we got her a Harry Potter costume and, with an eyeliner lightning bolt and a decorated stick as a wand, off she went to the Halloween party.
Many of the other girls at the party were dressed as princesses or southern belles, or some equally "cute" generic girl character. One of the princesses was told she was "a vision."
Good for her, and I mean that sincerely. But while the she was being a vision, Claire was running around the room giggling, waving her ribbon-adorned stick and yelling "Expeliarmus!" at the top of her lungs. No preening for her.
She had a blast. And I love that about her. I love that she is unconcerned about playing a role as the stereotypical "cute little girl" — unless she's in the mood for it. She just wants to play, and doesn't care about looking a certain way. She does have the requisite horse posters in her room, though.
As I've mentioned in a past column, conformity is not a word that gets a lot of attention from her. She does care about dressing and grooming appropriately, but other than that, she couldn't care less. If she wants to dress as Harry Potter instead of a demure princess, she does. If she wants to go splash around and hunt for crawdads in the woodland creek behind our neighborhood, she does. If she wants to play dress-up, she does. She doesn't limit herself based on someone's notion of gender stereotypes.
While I support this approach philosophically, I don't push it. I don't even consciously encourage it. It is just her personality. And it is her comfort with who she is. I'm proud of her for it.
Being a little princess or a belle made Claire's friends happy, and that's wonderful. What makes Claire happy is enjoying the moment; regardless of what others think she should be.
That's my girl!
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