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Right is a black and white issue
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Published: July 3, 2008
Right is always right, regardless of situation.
Years ago, when my wife and I were in our pre-children stage, we noticed a dog in a yard not far from us which spent most of its day tied to a tree. We rarely saw anyone playing with it, and the chain securing would frequently become wrapped around the tree so that the dog couldn't move more than a foot or two. It couldn't reach its doghouse — or its food or water — and would often be left in that predicament for days, even during storms or extremes of heat or cold. It looked miserable.
In the mistaken belief that everyone can be reasoned with, I knocked on the door of the home and, as politely as I knew how, offered some suggestions as to how the owners could treat the dog a little better. My suggestions were not well received.
Toward the end of her tirade, the woman of the house asked if I had children. I said that I did not. She told me, quite unpleasantly, that I just didn't understand, was unqualified to make any criticisms and that until I had children, I had no business telling people how they should treat their pets. We exchanged a few more opinions and, once the door was closed firmly in my face, I left.
No kids, no opinion allowed, eh? Fools. The poor dog and the miserable excuses for humans have long since moved away, taking their witlessness and cruelty with them. Passing the house a few weeks ago, though, it occurred to me again how absolutely wrong they were.
Now that I have children, my opinion is unchanged, and I'd do nothing different were something similar to happen. The presence of children in the family did not excuse the adults' obvious cruelty and neglect of an animal that depended on them for shelter and food just as much as their child. It annoys me how a few parents believe that non-parents "just don't understand." While I acknowledge that until you've held your child in your arms and felt that visceral parent-child bond, it is difficult to fully appreciate. But it doesn't excuse irrationality or cruelty.
I may be fractionally more understanding of the demands children make on parents, but I was aware of that before becoming a father, so there's no practical difference there. If they are well thought out, having children shouldn't change one's pre-child opinions. I'd be surprised if it did. Having children hasn't changed me at all, for instance, in how I believe animals or people should be treated. In fact, it has strengthened those opinions because I'm more aware of the example I set for my children.
Speaking out on Right and Wrong are independent of childbearing, and parents and non-parents alike should never hesitate to speak up.
"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated," said Gandhi. That's a truth irrespective of the presence of children.
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