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A really long engagement

By Amy Fuhrman | Lake Norman Navigator

Published: December 18, 2008

Save the date: In 2028, there's going to be a wedding.

The prospective groom is my 4-year-old son Ben and his intended bride is his best friend, Veda. He's announced that they're getting married, and she's agreed, so as far as he's concerned, it's a done deal.

(Although, when she hears about the 100 children he's planning to have, she may rethink her decision.)

He talks a lot about his married future. He's assured me he'll only be moving a little far away — he thinks three houses down the street would be perfect.

But, really, in a society as migratory as ours is today, what are the chances of Ben marrying his childhood sweetheart and living down the road from Mom and Dad?

It used to be that people — for the most part — were born, lived and died in one place. Marrying your high school love wasn't an amazing story; it was pretty much a given.

I'm not saying that I'd like to see a return to those days. There are many advantages to having broad horizons and seemingly limitless options.

Part of me, though, has bought into Ben's 4-year-old fantasy of things just staying the same. My boys marrying girls I know and love, and then settling down close, where I can see them all the time and play with their 102 babies.

(My older son, always the practical one, says he thinks two children will be more than enough for him. And he has absolutely no clue who he's going to marry and doesn't plan to think about it for at least another 20 years.)

There would be no 12-hour drives to get home, no missed birthdays or Christmases because the distance or the cost is out of reach.

Who knows what the future will hold? There will be new friends, new experiences and changing personalities along the road for both my boys.

But it is nice to sit back and enjoy this stage in their lives, when a person can go from stranger to best friend with the sharing of a toy and not knowing your best friend forever is completely unimaginable.